Stability
Do We Have It?
Like I said before we love adventure and the last 17 years have been full of it! We have lived in San Diego California, Rexburg Idaho, Pocatello Idaho, Rigby Idaho, Provo Utah, and currently live in Houston Texas. We have loved so many things about each place we have called home! We learn new things and have had a variety of experiences because we have moved a lot. For a long time, I worried about how moving around a lot didn't allow us to feel stable. Like, some people stay in the same home or town their whole lives! They know everyone and life just seems more stable when you know what to expect day in and day out, year after year. The longest we have lived in the same home has been the last 5 years in Houston. We longest we stayed in the same place before this was 3 years in Rigby. I wouldn't trade the experiences we've had for anything in the world! We seem to jump right in every time we move! I just love getting to know new people, and hear their stories, and learn from them.
I have learned over time, and it's become much more apparent over the last 2 years, that the most important stabilizing force for families, especially for children, is the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It is a global church that is uniform no matter where you go in the world. Our network of congregations is unique, and everywhere I go, I feel loved and welcomed. We have done a decent amount of traveling over the years, sometimes to different countries, I always leave church on Sunday feeling like family.
The second most important stabilizing force for children is their family. Specifically their parents. We go through a lot, as parents. I'm saying all of us as parents! Each parent in the world has come through their own life's battle to the point where they find themselves supporting the life of another human. This is no small feat, nothing short of a miracle! As parents, we have the power to influence all those within our homes. Have you ever seen this?
I have learned a lot about how much I can influence the stability of our home life by following the path The Parenting Pyramid (The Arbinger Institue, 1998, https://content.byui.edu/file/91e7c911-20c5-4b9f-b8fc-9e4b1b37b6fc/1/Parenting_Pyramid_article.pdf) teaches.
The very most stabilizing level is personal. Our whole being. We can ask ourselves, what kind of force am I? What kind of influence do I want to have on others throughout my life? What do I want to do in my life? What do I want to become? When we are satisfied with who we are, we act in a way that provides stability to our lives and to those around us ie: our families/children.
The second level is the Husband/Wife relationship. We can self-assess by asking further questions like: am I the kind of spouse I want to be? What kind of spouse do I want to be? How do I become that spouse?
"Here’s a summary of what the pyramid tells us:
Although correction is a part of parenthood, IT IS THE SMALLEST PART.
The key to effective correction is effective teaching.
The key to effective teaching is a good parent/child relationship.
The key to a good parent/child relationship is a good husband/wife relationship.
The key to a good husband/wife relationship is our personal way of being. Indeed, this
quality affects every other aspect of the pyramid; that is why it is the deepest foundation.
The solution to a problem in one part of the pyramid lies below that part of the pyramid."
The most basic unit in society is the family. We believe that God is our Father in Heaven, our Heavenly Father. He is the Father of our spirit's and we are His children. To have the gift of having our own children is a blessing that I am sad to say has been diminished in our world today. However, there is still so much good on this Earth! There are so many amazing mothers and fathers just out there doing their best. I like to remind myself and my kids sometimes that "I've never been a mom to an ___-year-old (Age of Child), ______(Child's Name) before! I'm going to make mistakes, can you be patient with me?" I also like to remind them "You've never been a ___-year-old before, you're going to make mistakes! I can totally understand that!"
In a post for The New York Times, in April 2012, William Bennett said "If we have stronger families we will have stronger schools, stronger churches, and stronger communities with less poverty and less crime. The family is the linchpin of society, both economically and socially." (https://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2012/04/24/are-family-values-outdated/stronger-families-stronger-societies). Because the family unit is so critical in the success of our society, I want to build a strong family! One that will be a stabilizing force for the communities we live in. I want to be able to send my children out into the world to share the goodness and happiness they've experienced in their lives, for them to have a solid foundation of who they are and why they are here. There are no limits to what they can do and become when they have this foundation. So they can go on to create stability in their own lives and families, in an increasingly less stable society. Learning about this pyramid has given me more insight into how we can achieve this goal.
What do you think?
What gives you stability?
Is stability necessary for us to be our best selves?
Comments
Post a Comment